why.
why.
why.
I wish that... I could forget.
And I can't at all.
This is the thing about me that I suffer with most. I always remember the things I did with people I care about. Especially you. Why does it have to be you? And why does it have to be me remembering all these things? I wonder if you remember us, as stupid middle schoolers, messing around at our lockers every morning. I wonder if you remember staring at each other for ten minutes straight at lunch, just to see who would give in and laugh first. Everyday. That was my life for so long with you. And then all of a sudden it stopped - and I changed. You changed. Somehow, fate brought us together again. Friendship isn't enough though. I have missed you every day of my life for the past 19 months and I don't know what to do anymore. Yet, I still manage to go to bed every night fantasizing about what could be and about what will never be. My brain is telling me you wont ever be with me again, and I know you wont. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop my heart from telling me that you care. I don't know what to listen to. I've been trying for a year to listen to my brain. But my heart always ruins things because I'm too honest. I just don't know how to listen to my mind. I wish I could. But most of all, I wish you would just be with me. Everything would be so much easier, and my heart is telling me right now, that both of us would be so much happier that way.